| | Newsletter May 2007
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Success Strategies for Living Your Life ON Purpose
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| Greetings! |
 Welcome to Success Strategies for Living Your Life ON Purpose, written specifically for people who desire better relationships with themselves, their partner, friends, children, and co-workers. Please feel free to forward this issue to anyone you believe will enjoy and/or benefit from it. |
| Friendship - the Gift that keeps on giving |
 Last weekend I attended a camp reunion with people I had not seen in over 40 YEARS! It was the most incredible experience and reminded me of how precious and rewarding good friendships are. It was like getting together after 40 days, rather than 40 years! About 50 people congregated in San Diego from all corners of the US and Canada. Two of my closest friends at camp were from Montreal, Canada. They both came to the reunion and it was like we had never lost touch. We laughed, cried, sang camp songs and bonded all over again. We vowed to stay in touch and are even planning to meet in Las Vegas for my birthday in September. What a wonderful gift a good friend is. True friendship stands the test of time, distance, demands, and neglect.
If you have lost touch with a close friend, give them a call or send them a note. Let them know you're thinking of them. Who knows? Maybe you'll discover they've been thinking of you too and just needed a little encouragement to reconnect.
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| Quick Links |
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http://harriettelowenstein.marria
e-family.com
www.buildabetterrelationship.type
pad.com | |
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| What makes a good friend? |
 Is she the one you can count on in a crisis? Or tell you the truth even if it hurts? Maybe she's the person who inspires you, is fun to be around, or makes you laugh
Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote that friendships are composed equally of two components: truth and tenderness. It's essential to be honest with friends but it's just as important to be tender. Truths should be told with consideration and gentleness. Sometimes you may have to tell a friend when something is wrong, or when you've been hurt by something they said or did. It may be tempting to avoid confrontation, but in the end, facing issues when they arise can save your friendship. Being able to admit when you are wrong is also important. For a friendship to be fulfilling, you need to feel like you are sharing and giving equally.
"Friendship", Samuel Johnson said, should be kept in "constant repair". It must be tended, nurtured, and constantly worked on. Make time for your friends. Friends are people we bring into our lives on purpose, but that doesn't mean that we don't sometimes take them for granted. Friendship, like a garden, requires attention, nurturing, and patience. Spend time nurturing and supporting the friendships that enhance your life. Spend more time nurturing the qualities that make you a good friend, and be willing to let go of the "friendships" that drain your energy and make your life more difficult.
Friendship can be a valuable tool to help us lead a life ON purpose. Friends will look out for our interests, support us in both the best and worst of times. They can provide comfort and companionship, and perhaps most importantly, they can keep us honest by being truthful when we ask for their opinion or advice.
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| 10 Questions to ask yourself about the quality of your friendships |
What does it really mean to be a friend, a "good" friend in every sense of the word. The following questions, adapted from The Hard Questions for an Authentic Life by Susan Piver, can help you determine whether you are being as good a friend for others as you want them to be for you.
- What does the word friendship mean to me? What purpose do I think friends serve in my life? What qualities do I expect to find in the people I number among my friends?
- Who are the five people I would count as my closest friends? Do they serve the purpose and exhibit the qualities I identified as defining the word "friendship"?
- Who are my oldest friends? Would I seek them as my friends if I were meeting them today?
- Who are my newest friends? What are the qualities in these people that caused me to seek and maintain their friendship?
- If I am somehow dissatisfied with or disappointed by one or more of my friendships, why do I feel that way? Have we outgrown each other? Have my feelings for this person changed? Have their feelings about me changed?
- If I were to ask my good friends, what would they tell me are the qualities they value in me? What would they say it is that makes me as good a friend to them as they are to me?
- If I want to make new friends, how can I go about it?
- Do I find it difficult to make new friends? Do I find it difficult to talk to new people? Is there something I can do consciously to let people know I would like to develop a friendship with them?
- Do I want to broaden my group of friends or am I happy with those I have now? Am I seeking something from my friends that they are unable to give?
- If I spent more time nurturing those friends who are supportive and who enhance my life, if I spent mre time nurturing the qualities that make me a good friend, if I devoted less time to those people who are draining my energy and making my life more difficult, would I be closer to the life i want to live ON purpose?
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"A human moment occurs anytime two or more people are together, paying attention to one another." Edward M Hallowell, M.D.
Until next time....
Sincerely,
Harriette
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Harriette Lowenstein
Harriette Lowenstein, MA, LMFT
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Harriette Lowenstein, LMFT
260 Maple Ct. Suite 153
Ventura, CA 93003
(805) 339-9809
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260 Maple Ct. Suite 153
Santa Barbara, CA 93003
(805) 339-9809
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260 Maple Ct. Suite 153
Ojai, CA 93003
(805) 339-9809
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